The Lost Jewel

What would you do if the man you wished to be with for the rest of your life has now found his partner in life and you weren’t that girl? Of course, cry for a little and get moving would be a safe answer. What if you can’t get moving; losing hope that there will never be another man like him? He is a rare jewel that can never be found anywhere else in the whole wide world. Then, probably, you would just tell yourself, good things never last. But he is your future, you saw yourself walking in the wedding aisle, him at the end to exchange vows with you, he isn’t just a good thing that’s going to happen again. He is the only best thing that has ever happened to you. How will you get moving if the only reason you look forward to in your future has gone a different way? He went the other side of the path, farthest from you. Can you claim that he was yours? Nope, never, because he was never yours and never will he be yours. You have to face the fact that there is no such thing as being destined for each other. It is more of love finds its way in the hearts of those who believe in it. For us, no love was involved. It is more of my own side of the story forcing God to make us be partners in life. It is me committing myself to love someone who has never loved me the way I loved him. It is just me forming a make-believe life in the future with him because I forced to go against God’s will and demanded Him to fulfill what I want. And now, God won. He always does. He is always victorious in everything. He even knows me better than I know myself. Now, I am shattered into pieces. I can’t see light in my future at all. The “knight in shining armor and prince charming dreams” has all faded away. The only thing I can see now is complete darkness; nowhere to go, no one to run to, no one to hold on, nothing except the strong desire for death. Would death be always the solution? Will things get better if I will just disappear from this world? I wonder what it would be like.